Humbug!

Every once in a while I go back to yesterday's post and decide I've been too unkind. And every once in a while I go back and discover I haven't been unkind enough.

Yesterday, I elbowed this release for suggesting that Sony could lay legitimate claim to the title "Best-Selling Holiday Ringtone Ever." (Or is that EVAR?) Here were the reasons for my doubts:

1. The RIAA only tracks musical commerce from companies that apply for a certification, which largely excludes the significant Chinese market.

2. These figures only apply to mastertones, which may be dominating the market now but weren't two years ago.

3. Since Mariah's "All I Want for Christmas" is the first mastertone to even receive a certification, you have to wonder if some of the makers of mastertones even bothered to apply at all.

But I completely overlooked the most important hole in Sony's claim. Sony thinks of a "ringtone" as one recorded data file. Here's the thing, Sony: no one outside the music industry thinks this way. This conversation never happens:

"Is that a Silent Night ringtone?"
"Yes, it's the 2Thumbz poly version!"
"I prefer the Ringtonesgalore.co.uk poly, myself. More stately, slower tempo."

Any reasonable tally of "holiday ringtones" would have to represent the aggregate sales of holiday tunes-- and whether those tunes are copyrighted or not, they've inspired a whole lot of cellphone music that the RIAA has no interest in tracking.

A headline which leads people to believe that "All I Want For Christmas" has outperformed "Silent Night" in the cell phone market is, at best, a charitable reading of misleading and incomplete data. Or we could just call it a "lie."

Bah.